people bringing me down anymore! I'm so sick of people telling that I'm a waste, that I'm cold, you're too shy or that guys don't like you because your too fat!..Yes they're words but they hurt...a lot...its hard for me to trust others because I've always been teased or made fun of by people..I do my best to stay optimistic or brush it off...

I'm doing my best to change right now...eating better...sleeping better...trying to get a job and license....I've wasted a lot of time and have to pay the consequences...I'm feeling so alone..I miss having a life...I miss working at Disneyland..I miss having a boyfriend...I wish I hadn't been so dumb and lazy..i would have still had everything I loved..Every time I call someone..I feel like i'm bothering them. I'm sorry if I text you, message you, comment you or call you so much..I really am sorry if I bother you...

I hate hearing my mom and aunts tell me "Oh did you hear..so and so is getting married..shes so pretty..blah blah blah...and look at you..you're single because you you're fat and you don't have anything great to offer a man.." and then it leads too.."you're a disappointment laura..." and they end it with "something positive" thats suppose to motivate me..

I really don't need people like that or people who leave me hanging..I'm done with all of that bull shit...I like to think that I'm a nice person...I'm doing my best to be optimistic! for all of you that make my days better..I love you! but for those of you who put me down FUCK YOU! I dont need you in my life at all!